In this room I am infinite. I am whoever I want to be. As soon as my fingers touch these tiny black and white keys of my heart. My problems go away, this is my escape from the world around me, this is my world and my world alone. This is something they can't take from me, no heartache no pain can keep me away from my home, my little piece of heaven. My piano room. My back doorway into heaven, my little glimpse of serenity bin this room I am infinite, broken yet while, this is my home.
0 Comments
It feels like you can see everything. And you can do anything, it makes you feel as though you are a conqueror. As you stand on the top of this mountain it makes you problems and worries seem so small, like you can finally see the bigger picture. You can see human and natures interactions. But it also makes you think how naturally beautiful it could have been if man had not tampered with it. How instead of trails the would be a mountain of trees, and instead of people hiking there would be wildlife growing. I can see how the mountain makes the skyline, and how even the ugliest things can look beautiful from 900 ft height. The clouds look closer, the trees blowing in the wind even looks a bit more peaceful.
As I sit on the top of this beautiful mountain, with the wind brushing against my skin, I sit back and ponder whether I recognize the true beauty this world beholds. As I see the beautiful colored flowers bloom, and watch the butterflies flutter through the air with no care in the world. It makes you wonder whether the materialistic world really matters.
“Love is a form of prejudice. You love what you need, you love what makes you feel good, you love what is convenient. How can you say you love one person when there are ten thousand people in the world that you would love more if you ever met them? But you'll never meet them. All right, so we do the best we can. Granted. But we must still realize that love is just the result of a chance encounter. Most people make too much of it. On these grounds a good fuck is not to be entirely scorned. But that's the result of a chance meeting too. You're damned right. Drink up. We'll have another." (Charles Bukowski)
-Anji Moore I'm afraid that your judgement is right,
so I hide behind truths and let my faults consume the best part of me that there is. I let my pride turn into shadows, that follows behind my damage. My freedom became costly. I poured myself into the ocean as if I were my grandfathers ashes, I let myself wash away into the ocean, continuously feeding myself to sharks, their teeth sinking deeper, and deeper into my flesh until I could no longer feel. My soul became the witness of sorrow, and my head hung lower than deepness of my stomach every time I heard your name. I saw then truth naked, and I thought to myself, 'Got dang, the truth has never looked so good naked." And my hands, My hands they became cups, for only you to fill me up with your lies. My skin became the ground that you walk upon, My hair turned the color blue, the color that best describes your face when you say, "I'm sick of you." My legs became the distance that you made me feel. My arms were your home that you laid your head in every night. They became abandoned houses. My cries became seeds, and your unfaithfulness watered them every time. My cries grew into your joy. You destroyed my inner peace, for your raggedy foolishness. I will stand alone. and succeed without you. Life was never easy for her,
she walks on broken glass, she, speaks tornadoes, she, purchases dreams from thrift stores, she, sell broken smiles, she, burns down loads of esteem, the ashes fills her lungs and it chokes the life out of her every time she feels someone watching. the burns, leaving black and blue memories on her mind but the bruises never seem to seep, I am beautiful, These words leaked into her ears and spilled on her face because shes never heard anything like it before, The only words that seem to echo through her mind was, your not, your not, your not. When she shows off a little skin, and that stretch marks, and that dimple in her thigh seems to be the only things that she thinks everyone see's, and she paces at a very fast speed, hoping that he does not see her. Perfection, Is size zero the only size that society thinks is beautiful? Perfection, perfection, perfection, Its the only thing that gets shoved down her throat as if it was her mothers pot roast, She remembers... She remembers being called fat years ago, by rude, classmates... When she spot one if them out in public the first thing they say is hey... you look good... they seem to have forgotten their words but they still hurt the same. I am beautiful , Shame, hurt, and embarrassment over shadows her happiness, but even her shadows are broken, I am beautiful, She screams it from a size 16, and she'll scream it from a size 28, I am beautiful I didn't let them break my heart, instead I broke my own into a million pieces until there was no way of putting it back together again. I broke my heart and let the pieces cut anyone who tried to get close to me. I've often cut myself, opening old wounds over and over again. I let them in over and over again never learning my lesson.
Everyone feel the need to change their self for everyone. Keep in mind to be yourself.
Blue is me, It tells my story, It tells that I'm calm, but if you start adding dark colors to it, it starts to get dramatic, other than that blue is cool. Red is all I see, Love, It also blinds me in a kind of way, make my heart of concrete so my heart could literally crack, then, fill me back up, and put blue with my red heart, Along with it so it could make my face purple, Throw green paint across my legs, and let me walk across the green trail, along in your foot steps, let me be a better person, of your peers, and paint my arms pink and call me different, Tell me you love me, until my neck turns red, and then let me sweat the pity lies of white of the truth that you never told, Let my fingers, and my fingernails, turn the color of un- faithful orange, throw brown, over my feet, SO WHAT IM COLORFUL! I'm still in one! you never told me you loved me because, my neck was red, or because my arms was pink, or was it because every time you laid me down all you ever saw was yes in my eye's, and you knew it! I hate YOU! IM RED, NO,IM ORANGE, WAIT, IM PURPLE, DARN! IM MAD WHAT DO I TURN WHEN IM MAD? I LOVE YOU, wait, I HATE YOU! no, I love you, WAIT, JUST LET ME TURN BLUE! |